💔 5 Ways to Help Protect an Elder from Romance Scams

Romance scams are quietly becoming one of the fastest-growing forms of financial elder abuse in California. These scams often begin online—with an innocent message, a thoughtful comment, or a new “friend” who seems genuinely caring. That does not mean the entire relationship is online as many romance scams can use a “front” person but it’s most likely to take place predominantly online or via digital communication.

Over time, that kindness deepens into emotional dependency. And once trust is built, the requests begin: money for travel, a sudden emergency, a “temporary” loan. By the time families catch on, the losses—financial, emotional, and psychological—can be devastating.

Even when shown proof, many elders refuse to believe they’ve been scammed. It’s not denial—it’s heartbreak. Admitting the fraud means admitting the relationship was never real. That’s why family, friends, and professionals play such a crucial role in recognizing danger early and stepping in with care.

Here are five ways you can protect an elder loved one from romance scams and take swift legal and financial action if you suspect one has occurred.

1. Notice Sudden Attachments—Especially Online

If your loved one starts mentioning a “special someone” they met online—or a romantic partner who’s always just out of reach (often claiming to be overseas, in the military, or working on a remote project)—take note.

Scammers often “love bomb” their victims, showering them with attention, flattery, and promises of a future together.

Instead of confrontation, use curiosity:

“I’m happy you’ve found someone special—can you show me their profile or photo?”

Staying involved in the conversation keeps communication open and may help you identify red flags before money changes hands.

2. Watch for Financial Red Flags

Sudden wire transfers, unexplained withdrawals, new credit card accounts, or unusual gift card purchases are classic indicators of financial exploitation.

Encourage the elder to:

• Set up bank alerts for large transactions.
• Review statements monthly with a trusted and known person.
• Never send money or give personal details to someone they haven’t met in person, even then do your due diligence.

If fraud is suspected, contact Adult Protective Services(APS) right away. APS can investigate and coordinate protective services for vulnerable adults facing financial elder abuse or undue influence.

3. Freeze Credit and Prevent Identity Theft

If you suspect identity theft or fraud, help your loved one place a credit freeze or fraud alert through Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.

• A credit freeze prevents new accounts from being opened.
• A fraud alert warns lenders to verify identity before issuing credit.

Both can be lifted later and are powerful tools in preventing further financial damage.

4. Build a Trusted Support Network

Isolation is what romance scammers rely on most. They often convince victims to cut ties with loved ones who question the relationship.

Create a small circle of trust—family members, a financial advisor, and an elder law attorney—who can gently but consistently express concern.

If needed, consider professional intervention: a licensed fiduciary, conservatorship attorney, or care manager can step in to safeguard finances and ensure the elder’s best interests are protected.

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5. Secure Digital Access and Communication

Once a scam is identified—or even suspected—take quick action:

• Change passwords to all email, banking, and social media accounts.
• Enable two-factor authentication.
• Block and report scammer accounts.
• Review messages and financial apps for unauthorized access.

If the elder is resistant, work with a professional to discreetly implement security measures while preserving dignity and autonomy.

Helping an elder see they’ve been scammed is rarely straightforward. But your vigilance, compassion, and quick action can stop financial loss before it escalates.

If you believe a loved one is being manipulated or defrauded, contact Adult Protective Services, your local law enforcement agency, or a San Diego elder law attorney who understands the unique blend of legal, financial, and emotional issues at play.

At Bellator Law Group, we stand with families navigating the aftermath of romance scams, undue influence, and elder financial exploitation. We’ll help you protect assets, restore safety, and rebuild peace of mind—with dignity and compassion.

Contact Bellator Law Group to discuss protective options for your loved one: (619) 232-8377.

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